Arbuckle's Irish Cream

下午，小綠眼說要煮咖啡。

小綠眼公司的姊姊在office holiday lunch party上送大家Arbuckle's Irish Cream 咖啡粉。這包是這週的第二種調味咖啡了，第一包是公司的另外一位姊姊給的Godiva Chocolate Coffee。我們很少喝flavored coffee，總覺得怪怪的。

煮起來還滿香，不過沒有Godiva Chocolate的濃郁。

2011聖誕限定巧克力收藏之二

Xin 回西班牙看父母，和家人至比利時帶回來的。好吃!

2011 聖誕巧克力收藏之一

同事卡爾的姊姊從義大利帶來的

Wise words to remember

Molasses Cookie 黑糖餅乾

Molasses是美國的一種液狀黑糖。(參看薑梨餅乾)

Molasses Cookie像是"冬季限定"，多半到了感恩節才開始做，在聖誕節時，屬於家家戶戶都要bake一下的。

今天終於有時間和心情做餅乾了，選了這個想做很久但是都沒有行動的餅乾。這次很認真的用了食譜上的奶油用量! (所以很不健康 XD)

1 1/4 杯麵粉

2 t 小蘇打

1 t 肉桂

3/4 t 薑粉

1/2 t all spice (丁香粉:黑胡椒: 肉豆蔻:肉桂=1:1:1:1)

1/2 t clove (丁香粉)

1/4 t 鹽

1/2 杯 奶油

1/3 杯黃糖

1 large egg

1/3 杯 黑糖漿

粉類篩過

奶油和糖打發。加入其他液體類

加入粉類

使用手沾水，製作2.5公分大小球狀，一邊沾糖粉。放置在鋪紙 (parchment paper) 的烤盤上

375 度 10-12 分鐘

沒有照片，已經被大家都吃完了!

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Molasses-Crinkles-231214

Achievement

老闆自從知道我要去到跑華府搖滾馬拉松去跑21公里後問我，你從跑步中得到什麼? 為什麼你要去做那件事? (Why do you do it? What do you get from it?)

我跟他說，這是我在一切生活和未來不確定中，讓自己維持清醒的方法 (maintain my sanity)。從跑步中獲得成就，告訴自己：如果我可以每週進行四天跑步訓練，每次至少跑五公里，維持18週，那我應該可以繼續在不知道未來在之下走下去。

那就是我的感覺。每當我到了臉書後就會有點depress。朋友們都有正當的工作 (工作，不是房子 etc)，可我還在寫期末報告。

我真的不知道自己的未來在哪裡...

Apple crisp 蘋果酥

美國蘋果據說百百種。那天買了麥金塔和羅馬蘋果，做了蘋果酥。聽說要做好吃的蘋果派(等蘋果甜點)就是買種都用一顆。

Macintosh Apple x 2
Rome Apple x 2
Vanilla 1/4 teaspoon
Sugar 1/4 c
Lime juice
Nutmeg 1/4 t
Cinnamon 1/2 t
Jiffy pie crust mix 1 1/2
Oats 1 c
Egg 1

400F 15 min, 375F 25 min
Core and slice apple thin. Toss with sugar, vanilla, nutmeg, cinnamon, lime juice, with apple.
Mix oats, jiffy mix and egg. It will look crumble. Pour apple into glass dish, spread crumble over them. Bake.crumble

June 8

No morning meeting
Weed cleaning not thorough

June 9

Intern edu session is not schedules at a regular time.

Finish weeding and need to call for next assignment.

Are doing nothing.

The income from member shares support the operation of the farm, including salaries and other overheads. The manager makes less than 15000 per year. Intern makes 500 per month.

Anything with seeds is fruit. Peas, cucumber, pumpkin...

Beans are planted after rain when the soil is crumble yet not chunk.

Plants are vulnerable when it is watered. So too much water is bad

Peas need to picked everyday. The plants will produce more.

June 8

Weeding

Snow peas like cold temperature so the weeds are fine because they create shades.

Garlic scapes: garlic forms cloves after the scapes are cut. The scape are two weeks per season.
Idea for cooking garlic scapes: stir fry with bacon for pasta.

Management
Differences in standards make text communication inefficient. The manager text jobs of the day. But the interns have different standards and so they weed thoroughly than needed. As a result, the beds was used for direct seeding which was not the original plan.

No water irigation and so water by hands. Will is broken and not fixed, at least two weeks.

The board do not do strategic planning.

貪食

飲食的節奏亂了。無論是巧克力或垃圾食物或點心...這是ㄧ個很遭糟糕的墮落。

最近開始運動，體力變不好了。肌耐力和肺功能都退步了。退步很快，進步很難。

克制自己的慾望，不要貪吃了。

論文啤酒

Hoegaarden, Belgian wheat beer.
Sunday afternoon...ah,

胡亂寫了垃圾。根據小綠眼的說法，有寫總比沒有好。

November chill

這週我已經做了三件迷糊事了。
我先是將要寄到美國境內的信隨包裹寄回太台灣，接著寄信前沒有將開口封起來，最後記錯上課時間所以坐在寒風中ㄧ小時等老公。

照片為傍晚校園景

瀕臨絕種巧克力

中午和同事吃午餐，他太太準備甜點給我。這是公平交易的可可製作黑巧克力，非常黑，些微甜。好吃!

No impatience please

You don't get to be impatience with me. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. I deserve to be respected, including being treated with patience. Go sign up for something else if you don't want to. Seriously, not joking.

Wedding cake

今天上課Politics of Health,老師給我ㄧ個經驚喜!她準備了杯蛋糕慶祝我結婚了。

旁邊的酒瓶是香檳蠟燭。

Yoga under the sky

今天的瑜珈課在學生活動中心/餐廳前上課。我們在棚內但路過的人都很好奇 。在天空下的瑜珈經驗很棒，像是被活化(liberating) .

A new adventure

A new phone. A new experience

The season

I feel vulnerable and I am not particularly well. I don't know what's wrong, maybe it is the season. I long for the sunny days when the warmth of the air cheer me up. The sense of security from the I don't know what. October is a brutal season.

I have been in this state of mind for four days. Experience tell me that why the mood comes, all I can do is wait. Patience is time, time is patience. I can only wait for it to pass by.

複製過去的錯誤

今天下班時新來的上海人問我有沒有做一個project，還有負責哪部分。我問他是什麼緣故他要問我。他說老闆要他修正總編輯給的一些評論。

總編輯要他改的是圖表中的顏色。這些圖表很多都是我做的，所以對於這些錯誤我很在意。我發現這些錯誤的造成是因為我使用上一年的圖表格式，只修改其中的數據。上一年的人到底怎麼畫錯顏色的我不知道，但是顯然複製過去的代價就是複製錯誤。我心情很不好。這固然不全部是我的錯，因為也是老闆叫我修改數據的，但也顯示自己不夠細心。

不過說真的，我看了很久還是覺得那顏色長的一樣。

驚魂記

因為小綠眼要到城裡工作，但是家裡只有一台車，所以我們要開始一起通勤的生活。今天我們6點就起床了，因為要準備早餐、午餐和洗澡。突然在6:20，我聽到敲門聲。那麼早有人敲門是很不尋常，我想大概是自己聽錯了，於是不以為意。

過了不久，門鈴響了。

小綠眼和我看了對方，我心想，大概是有人找錯門了，所以就不予理會。過了幾分鐘，門鈴又響了。這時我開始覺得很恐怖! 是壞人嗎? 美國郊區人在自家被謀殺的電影情節在腦中閃過。大門的位置剛好可以看到廚房的動靜；外面天還很黑，廚房的燈是亮的，我們看不到對方，對方卻看得到我們。我拿起無線電話，我問小綠眼說，我們該打給警察嗎，這種算是emergency嗎?我走到餐廳，發現車門口停了一台車，車燈是亮的。我心想：歐，這個人是針對我們這戶，我該怎麼辦? 這樣應該qualify emergency吧? 警察來不及來怎麼辦?! 總總嚇死人的念頭閃過。

我於是撥了911，這可是我人生中第一次撥打911。警察問我的地址，他問我車子的顏色、特徵。我回警察說，外面那麼黑，我看不出來啊! 警察問我對方的特徵，我說從家裡看不見，只知道是中年男子。警察說，如果對方離開你再撥打回來。於是電話就結束了。

對方還在外面，警察又沒說他們會不會來。我只好期待又patrol car會過來。

這時，這個男子又走進大門敲了門 (我實在快被嚇死了)。小綠眼說要上樓，我說大門旁的窗戶看得到屋內。過了不久，小綠眼說，對方已經遠離大門了。我們彎下腰，迅速地跑上樓，從客房的窗戶往外看。外面的男子帶了帽子，穿白色長褲，看起來180公分高。門鈴又響了，我對小綠眼說：我們忘記帶刀子上樓了。

過不久，警察來了。他下車後用手電筒照了那位男子，接著敲大門。我們去開門，警察問：這個人說要和彼得去打高爾夫球，他說他沒有找錯房子，你們認識彼得嗎?

我說彼得是我們的室友，但是他去狄斯耐樂園玩了。那位男子走過來，一聽他說話，神秘男子的身分終於真相大白：锵锵，原來是賣我們的房子的仲介。

他當然沒有找錯房子，因為房子是他賣出的阿。

警察在臨走前開玩笑一番 (實為抱怨，小綠眼說)，警察說：你看這人一身高爾夫球打扮 (心中os：我又不打高爾夫，哪知道裝扮阿)，又開BMW (心中os: 誰看得到那是BMW阿，更何況壞人也可以開BMW阿)，他長得哪像壞人阿??? (心中又os：壞人臉上又不寫 - 我是壞人，請遠離我)。

驚魂記於是在一陣警察抱怨，仲介無辜，我們嚇死中結束。

A Journey About to Begin

In about 9 hours, my roommate will drop me off at the train station; I will hopefully arrive at NYC at noon. For lunch, I plan to eat Pepeye's. They say it is better than KFC (no, I don't think KFC is good at all...). I'll then take Subway E toward JFK airport. It should take an hour. The flight is at 4:45 p.m., so I at least have to arrive by 2:45. This means I have to leave NYC Penn Station by 1:30.

I am so nervous.

This is probably the real me. I may seem "tough" (my boss has been describing me as the "tough sister" lately), but the inside, I am jello... indecisive...can't even decide what I should wear on the plane (Haha).

I will land in L.A. and wait for four hours. I can't decide whether I should go try "in-and-out." It is famous for the burgers...but I don't feel like burgers...maybe I'll ask the Taxi driver to do a drive-through...Honestly, I rather sit in a bar and drink Margarita. Booz...so me.

At 1 a.m., I will board the flight. It is a many hours flight, five movies maybe?

I am packed, I have schedule a breakfast date with my aunt. We'll have 蘿蔔絲餅 with 7-11 coffee. Such an interesting combination, but so me. There is just a tiny problem, I have no idea where my grandmother used to buy that.

I think I will go shop for bra and shoes after that...Problem again, I have no money. My aunt owes me about 2 grands, but the items I purchased for her is at my husband's place...Urg...

The truth is I am VERY nervous. This seems so surreal. I booked my tickets in January and tomorrow is the day...Tomorrow, I will being the journey and I don't feel prepare. Ah....

It is absolutely understandable if you have no idea what on earth I am talking about. I don't think that was English at all.

The perfect world - 就聽我抱怨吧

長期以來接了一些隨手做的翻譯工作，多半沒什麼建設性，現在也很少接了，那些文章多半很無聊又浪費國家資源。早上一個先前的客人要我幫他修改，他也附上了他"自己修改的"。看了真想昏倒。他自己(或他請別人)改了之後，中英文意根本就完完全全的不相同，也沒有使用"對仗"法，第一是有看到用粗體寫文章。

(請看以上三句，看起來混亂和沒有秩序，這就是他自己修改的英文後的樣子)

後來用看到一個親戚的FB相簿。有時我在想，同一個地點(火車上)，照了3張只有臉的照片照片、然後到了一間餐廳，又照3張臉的照片，BTW臉占了照片的1/2，另外1/2是另一個臉。這樣的照片有何意義。身為一個看照片的人，我既不知道你去了哪裡，也不知道那好不好玩好不好吃，那有什麼用處嗎? 人又沒長特別漂亮。

繞了一圈，我脾氣還真不好。這些根本就沒有什麼。

低收入戶保險年度績效評估

HealthChoice Wavier Evaluation真是一個讓人想死的。我們的評鑑/評估跟台灣的應該有點不一樣，基本上我們是幫client(我們的client就是健保局...)製作評估報告。這評估報告做了大概10禮拜。

現在每天我腦中都出現這些名詞

HealthChoice,

MCO,

Evaluation,

PAC,

Measures,

Improvement,

Percentage,

Percent

Proc freq (SAS Commend)

bar chart

辦公室e-mail inbox的每封信開頭都是

HealthChoice XXXX

阿! 這就是我的工作阿

印度電影清單

最近真是忙翻了。白天要上班，晚上要social，還有積欠半年的專題...

今天做一繁瑣的歸檔、傳照片等雜事，把一些喜歡/看過的印度愛情電影整理起來

Devdas

Shadow of Times

Calcutta, India

A 型人格

今天肚醫師跟我說他的新朋友對我的評價：追求完美以致於給自己壓力太大。肚醫師又分享他先前做grand round時看不懂paper，最後他導師給他的評語：給自己壓力太大。

我反問肚醫師一句，那他們有說如何不要追求完美嗎? (like technically, what are the approaches and methods)

有時候那根本不是追求完美，那只是要把事情給做好。或者是說，其實要把事情做好的人有時也滿可憐的，他們不知道要怎麼減低"標準"。不知道這算不算是強迫症，改天來看看DSM-IV好了。

Why?

I am so angry. Is shit-rain an actual term? (Or shit-rains, raining shit...?)

How stupid can the UPS be? World class logistic my ass. The driver obviously did not deliver the package to my door step. In fact, he didn't even ring the door bell. Yes, I am certain the driver is a he. All the UPS drivers are male, most of them have muscles and good looks. Yes, that's also a fact. My friend who worked for Fedex during college said he felt like being harassed by all the ladies and blank.

Before UPS was the carrier from USPS (United State Postal Service). The carrier was just too lazy to check that the package was supposed to be forwarded. Then the other USPS workers are just lazy as well. Seriously, first you told me it is not there; then it shows up magically and you send it to Chicago for it to transit to Taiwan (knock on wood).

And what is it with everyone in the office. The all-about-sex colleague is not doing data analysis. But it is data analysis season (it is always data analysis season). There are tons of data and you are on data analysis probation?

Then there is the other colleague who works exactly 5 hours each day (we are on 5 hours shift). Like when the clock tick 2:00, the colleague is off to do his/her own business. Really?! So then occasionally he/she works 20 extra minutes (for example), then he/she will send an e-mail (yes, you read it right) to our boss: Hi boss, I work extra 20 minutes today. Seriously, I work overtime nearly everyday. (Okay so I want to keep my job, eat me).

It's like crap rain. Ever heard of that expression? Most likely not cause I made it up.

So last week at the monthly supervisor meeting, I told my boss that "my observance (not complain) is almost everyone in our unit is unhappy." So she asked me why. I said, "well, A is unhappy, maybe because we have the annual evaluation. B has been unhappy for the past few months. C is upset. D says A is 'giving her crap' and I quote that." So my boss responded, "A is anxious because the new client is rather high maintenance. C is upset and I am okay with that. He should be upset. B needs to go home."

She skipped D, I guess there is no much to say about D.

Okay, so after a page long of venting, I now feel much better.

People are just crazy. Oh and the drugstore messed up my purchase today but I am waaaayyyyyyy too tired to fix it. For God's sake, (and forgive me for saying this), but they are just plain stupid. I am so sick and tired of them that I may as well as start using department store beauty products.

Never Say Never

標題和內文沒有特別關係，只是pandora剛好放到這首，突然覺得自己寫得出字來了。

今天，是上班甚至是來美國以來，第一次感到自己比沙子還小，是那麼孤單。

如果跑到一半卻下起了大雨...

今天我們又去港灣步道練跑步。四月小綠眼和我的目標是要從Canton跑到Henderson's Wharf Inn，來回約6.5公里。跑到一半卻下起了大雨。

小綠眼的腳比較長，所以他每次都跑在我前面。(當然他體力比我好也是一個原因啦XD)

剛開始只是毛毛雨，後來越來越大，最後變成"傾盆大雨"。衣服褲子都濕了，視線幾乎看不見。可是我的車子還在出發處，即使我要放棄，我也需要回到車上吧!

那時我深刻體會到:只要踏出去了，不管再困難也只好做完，不然要在路邊站著冷的要死等著雨停嗎?

為什麼那麼多人還是選擇要跑長跑?

因為每一次完成目標後都更確信地知道自己其實做的到。

附上跑步路線圖 (從右邊的canton跑到圖上的左邊Henderson Wharf再折返)

青蔥麵包

麵粉 4 C

酵母 1 1/2 t

白糖 1T 1t

溫水 1 1/2C

鹽 1 t

青蔥 一把 (8大支)

發 三十分鐘

翻轉 發一小時

425度 25分鐘 (需要修正 底部焦掉)

idiot proof巧克力蛋糕

這是我所知道最簡單的巧克力蛋糕，但是相當好吃:口感佳、綿密，但不硬。

做失敗是有點困難...

糖 1 杯 (白和黃各1/2)

麵粉 1 3/4 杯

baking powder 1 1/2 t

baking soda 1 1/2

可可粉 3/4 杯

鹽 1 t

蛋 2

無糖yogurt 1 杯 (也可以用sour cream)

油 1/2杯

熱水 1 杯

將粉類篩過，接著加入蛋、yogurt、油 攪勻

之後倒入熱水

攪勻 (差不多就可以)

350F 25 min

這次是用長方形的金屬盒 裡面舖 parchment paper

筷子拔出來乾淨即可

note 1: 原來的食譜用兩杯糖

note 2: 沒有yogurt or sour cream, 就用milk+ 1T 醋

沒有照片 因為被吃完了

Note安全產品

beautypedia

cosmeticsdatabase

goodguide

cosdna

the body shop aloe

loreal bare naturale mineral

city Veil

L'oreal UV Perfect SPF 50+++

小地雷

Ageless Essentials® Continuous Hydration Night

大地雷

Neutrogena Ageless Essentials Continuous Hydration SPF 25

原來在波士頓看到的人手一個菜市場包是...法國名牌阿

我不是一個關心時尚的人，是一個觀察環境的人。

辦公室來了一個法律系的實習生，他拿了一個粉紅色的Le Pliage (我也不知道怎麼念，這是法文)。後來去波士頓，看到每個妹手上都拿一個這樣的袋子。款式簡單，顏色豐富，讓我很納悶為什麼大家都拿一樣的袋子。

遠遠看，這袋子長的真普通。材質也沒有很特殊，像是塑膠布，上面有一塊皮和一個扣子，所以想必是可以摺起來，用成小小的放在書包，攜帶方便。因為LOGO實在太不起眼了，雖然拉鍊的扣環看起來有設計感，但我還是以為

"這是某個百貨公司的贈品吧!"

又因為實在太多人拿了，偏偏在巴爾地摩和紐約都沒有看到這樣平平撞包的景象，所以我就更加覺得

"波士頓的女孩真有趣。這應該真的是某個贈品吧!"

雖然我心裡覺得這好像是贈品，但有又隱隱覺得波士頓這個東北角的妹們應該沒有這麼"平民"吧。所以嘗試在Amazon看這個包是不是某個暢銷款。Amazon找尋菜市場包失敗。

就在我晚間看奇摩新聞時，連進一個網頁，哈，終於讓我看到了。

原來這個包是 Longchamp (long champion的縮寫? 長冠軍?)的Le Pliage。共有12個顏色。要價USD$145。材質：聚醯胺(尼龍)。

$145元的尼龍袋

問：尼龍是塑膠嗎?

原來我是非常白癡的人

其實我最近心情不好，這並不是什麼新聞，因為心情不好是我的專長。
只不過我在自己的網誌晃了一下，看了過去的一些文章，突然覺得其實我的生活還滿有趣的；充滿了新奇的事情(我自己這樣覺得啦)，然後又常常打出一些很白癡的話，舉一些似是而非的例子；有時咄咄逼人，而且有很多錯字。
2006年 6篇

2007年 18篇

2008年 12篇

2009年 71篇

2010年 48篇

(我剛才excel做了直方圖，本來想要依據標籤再做一個圖，但是很多文章都沒標籤。做研究不謹慎，data collect不齊全，要加強)

看完之後心情好了一點。

2010年三月有幾篇很好笑的。

孤獨

兩個人也可以很孤獨。

一個人的人多半覺得兩個人就不會孤獨。於是很希望變成兩個人。
直到有一天，兩個人中的一個人發現，兩個人也可以孤獨。

兩個人只是不孤單，每天(或常常)有個伴；孤獨卻是一種心理狀態*。

+++ +++ +++
又是一篇浪費版面的廢文。寫作是一種therapy；直到我能說得出真心話前，我都會一直處在現在的泥沼中。孤獨的一個人憤怒。uurrggghhh >"<


* 根據教育部國語辭典簡編版，

孤獨有三解釋：
1.禮記 禮運 幼而無父和老而無子的人
2.單獨
3.孤單寂寞

孤單有一解釋：
單獨無依

說再見

A time for everything
Ecclesiastes 3:1-
A Time for Everything
For everything there is a season,

a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.

A time to plant and a time to harvest

A time to cry and a time to laugh

A time to grieve and a time to dance

該是時候了，但其實我沒有準備好。

過去的將近一個月，白天很難專心，晚上很難入睡。躁動不安。

我不知道該怎麼辦，我不知道要說什麼。

別人的安慰是好心，可是我聽了卻很生氣。

我有很多話，多半是很多憤怒。我變得很生氣，生氣世界。

可以打包行囊滾回去了嗎?

好 所以我超遜的，只是因為機歪的總體經濟分析把我搞的要瘋掉，昨天遇到智障的店員，加上未來一整個不明朗，所以我想要滾回去了。

偷偷的走

阿嬤怪阿公是「偷偷的走」。他走的時候，小雲帶阿嬤去新光醫院門診，家裡沒其他人（約兩點多，打電話問阿公，阿公有接電話），過了下午五點，阿嬤回到家，看到阿公已身倒在床前地板上，她試著叫醒「清阿！清阿！」，接著叫小雲打救護車，通知大舅媽「爸爸暈到了」。小雲聽119建議，對阿公做CPR，救護人員到時，也是CPR；告知家屬要送醫，阿嬤說：不用送醫了。事後我看了死亡書上寫著：心肺衰竭死於2月22日下午4時。

小雲說當她回家時，先看到廚房的瓦斯有小火苗燒著，聽到阿嬤叫她打119時，去房間看阿公，阿公眼睛睜開著，嘴巴張著，手已冰冷。

阿嬤描述著：阿公已換上乾淨的內褲，睡褲的兩管已穿到膝蓋下，躺在地上，一脚直伸，另一脚彎曲著；我們推測，阿公可能是站起來穿褲時倒地的。

本週一，阿公已做過肺功能檢查，預定週三斷層掃描。

我們每人都知道該照顧自己更多，也要照顧好阿嬤。

好累

我厭倦念書，應付考試，承受教室裡不平等的權利。

學位只是一張紙

在美國工作

在異國工作的心情好複雜

要有禮貌但有不能太過於謙遜

遇到笨蛋又只好默默接受 (不然要怎樣，事後跟老闆說他是笨蛋嗎?)

寫e-mail的措辭要小心，確定用字和句意是對事不對人，沒有指責對方的意思。

適當的時候要打圓場和閉嘴。這些事情也許在職場上都是相同的，無論在哪一國。

但是當換了一種語言和文化，困難度就變得高。

華人中的禮多人不怪在西方並不適用。

不是你的錯就不要禮貌性的我不對

真是一大挑戰

Week 2 class 1

這個老師實在太機車了，所以我決定要好好記錄上課，期末evaluation時大電他一番。

He is arrogant. He constantly saying: do you know what I mean. He sets the rules that students should communicate to him in person because he does not listen to voice mails and have too many emails. He also said he will not reply to emails.

First, he does not show appreciating of students' questions, especially when the questions is simple but crucial. For example, what format does he want for the assignment. One student asked, "what is the font, size, etc?" He replied, in a way that the student asked a stupid question, " the standard size 12, margin one inch." He suggested that students' ought to think if the font is too small, it will be difficult for him to see. Another student inquire about spacing. He replied as if it is a dumb question that "it should be single space...the assignment is one page only. I don't want 250 words..."

Two, he give students nicknames. For example, he called some "math guy."

Three, he does not seem to prepare for "this" class. The slide used in this class was originally prepared for a speech outside of UMBC. In addition, this was not the topic listed in the syllabus. He said he was jump around, talking about what is the interesting topic or current. However, this course is a in a seminar format. Thus, the randomness is not all that appropriate.

Finally, throughout the class, he showed that his personal preference and interest is more important. Some examples include do not expect him to reply to e-mails or listen to voice mail (consequently, if message is not delivered, the student is accountable); set tedious rules on how the assignment should be turned in (e.g. Assignment # 1 3 Euro questions). While these are tiny things, it just show that this person is inconsiderate of others.

The classroom should not be a extreme unbalance of power, especially at higher education. Instructors and students should be mutually accountable. This is a required course for the students, so students have no choice but to take it. Is this instructor the only person to teach this course? Is this his choice of teaching it? If so, does that grant him the right to be a tyrant in the classroom?

為了我們的project，今天終於試了三件衣服。以上兩件是小綠眼沒有昏倒的。經過今天的經驗，結論是：

1. 我太小隻

2. 我太小隻

3. 我太小隻

就連2號都太會掉下來...看來我需要吃胖一點

梨薑蛋糕

Pear and Ginger Cake

去年感恩節之後，迷上於薑汁和黑蜜糖 (molasses)的香味。試了幾種molasses的蛋糕，但是都過於黏膩。

我是一個做東西看家裡有什麼再去找食譜的人，沒想到有西洋梨、薑、黑蜜糖的組合，當然就高高興興的試試。

食譜中用的allspice可用cinnamon, clove, black pepper 和nutmeg取代。基本的組合是1單位allspice需要cinnamon (1/2) and clove (1/2)。但是也有人加nutmeg and pepper。我就是每樣都用1/4單位。但1/8t實在很小匙，所以就自由心證啦。

小綠眼說很好吃，叫我把食譜留下來 (真難得)。

1 1/2 cups flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/8 teaspoon ground allspice

1/4 teaspoon salt

2/3 stick unsalted butter

1/4 cup water

1/4 cup packed dark brown sugar

1/2 cup molasses

3 large eggs

1/4 cup grated peeled ginger

1 pear

350度
將烤盤上塗奶油再裹麵粉 (我是用9x13x2吋
玻璃)

1. 篩麵粉和乾料
   
2. 奶油和水一起融化
   
3. 黑蜜糖和糖打勻，加蛋(一次一個)
   
4. 加粉類攪勻 (輕、柔、勻即可)
   
5. 加入奶油水和薑
   
6. 倒入烤盤，把西洋梨隨意排一排
   
7. 烤35分鐘
   

有關molasses
http://mypaper.pchome.com.tw/vicky88/post/1313399872

不肯面對自己

People hate to change; I am no exception.

今天不知怎的想幫網誌換新造型，沒想到除舊布新(成語是動詞嗎? 應該是要用"欲"除舊布新嗎?)的下場就是只能選新範本，再也無法(這並不全然是正確的；我可以修改html) 在照片上寫的"Happiness Will Come Through"，然後下面接一串"成就快樂巴拉的"。(恩，我嘗試了一小時；青春阿~)

昨天出門洗衣服前開了實體信箱(有個郵差會把信件放入的那種)，收到一張明信片。隨便看了一眼，關鍵字: 西岸、happy birthday、merry christmas、寄件人XXX。

放回信箱。鎖上。

小綠眼問我那誰寄的。我說XXX。睡前，我對小綠眼說，我生日是三個月前的事情；聖誕節是兩個月前的事情，地址是三個禮拜前問我的，那張明信片寄的也太慢了。

這是數月來其中一件令我忿忿的事，但我怎麼這樣計較? 沒有感謝別人的祝福，卻想要在"明信片"上寫 "查無此人" (郵件若有寄件者地址，信件會被退回；但明信片沒有"from: whom and where"；想要寫"查無此人"這個衝動足以凸顯我的荒謬。)

與人的關係越來越疏離。"沒有朋友"是自己為了要繼續孤僻的藉口，不想與人相處或連絡才是真正的原因。必須區別的是自己並非懶惰(想要做而不做謂之懶惰)，而是不想要。

不肯面對自己。

因為逃避自己的情緒，因為不想要面對自己，所以沒有寫下生活的心得、煮的食物、承受的壓力、對自己的期許、對他人的生氣、對世界的不解。這是懶惰。

每天都奄奄一息但卻假裝很行。

突然覺得自己很可笑。

2010年 三月 星期五 紫色金剛車壞掉

It isn't really about "a broken car." It is the shock.

To say it was a trauma would be overrated.

I was on the bridge, in the car, and trying to speak. I tried to stay calm but my heart was racing. It isn't even rational. But I didn't know whom I could call for help. The only phone book I have is the numbers in my cell, and there aren't that many numbers.

I sat there waiting for my car to be repaired. The clock ticked and ticked. From 10 to 12 to 2 to 4. I didn't know if I should go ask them or if I should stay put. I didn't know how much they'd charge me. I didn't know how much it would cost me. I didn't know if I have enough money. I didn't know if I don't have enough money, would that person let me leave. I didn't have a credit card.

I remember vividly that I took 100 cash into my purse that morning. I usually don't bring cash with me. I almost brought a camera, just because I thought I might want to take a picture of dad and I at the airport. I didn't wear socks because I figure I would be home soon. I didn't eat breakfast because we left at 5:45. I only had two sips of coffee.

That day was colder than usually.

I watched MTV for 9 hours.

Then we were told that only three cylinders are working. We drove back on 295 and the temperature was too hot. The alert sound keep went off. We were told not to go over 50. When the speed is too low, the car starts tumbling.

Then I called the repair shop. He told me to go to a gas station and check the water. I don't know which is the water tank. We go off the highway, but we couldn't see a gas station. We had to make a decision on which way to turn. It was dark and cold.

Then the car cooled down but we can't get the engine to start and run. We tried and tried. We successfully drove 50 yards, then the engine went off. We were in the middle of a intersection. There were cars behind us. We tried and tried. Then we slide into a residential parking lot. We had to make a decision.

Then i called my auto mechanic's shop but it was answering machine. Then I called his Dad's shop. The number was redirect to his cell somewhere and he couldn't hear me at first. I was afraid that he doesn't know me. But then he probably did.

I called the tow truck. He asked me where I was. I couldn't clearly describe my location. He asked what streets am I on. I ran out the car to check. I told him I am opposite of Harley Davidson Motorcycle. I was outside the car looking at the street signs, Wei was yelling from the window: tell him we are opposite the Harley Davidson shop... He asked for my name and number, told us to wait around 45 to 60 minutes, then we hang up. I called again because I forgot to ask if he can give us a ride back. I also asked for his name. Then we waited and the tow truck came. It was cold. My feet were cold.

It was a fancy tow truck. Not the kind that leave your rear wheels rolling on the ground. The kind that your whole car is on the truck. The interior was fancy. I knew it was going to cost a lot. I didn't have a choice. I didn't ask the price. I knew I didn't have to pay him because the car will be towed to the repair shop and the Dad will bill me later.

What if I didn't bring my cellphone like I usually don't.

What if I didn't have 700 dollars in my checking account to pay for fixing the car a the garage.

What if I didn't have the 100 dollars of cash to pay for the first tow.

What if no one picked up the phone that morning.

What if Susannah hadn't help us find a tow company.

What if I didn't have the number to the Dad's shop.

What if the Dad didn't pick up the phone.

What if my cellphone battery died.

What if Wei's cellphone battery also died.

For the whole day, I ate a piece of bread, a hot dog, a can of root beer, a tiny candy, and two sips of coffee.

I came home at 9:30 and ate pizza and beer.

I am frightened. I can't tell Wei about this. We hadn't been able to get along for two days.