為了我們的project，今天終於試了三件衣服。以上兩件是小綠眼沒有昏倒的。經過今天的經驗，結論是：

1. 我太小隻

2. 我太小隻

3. 我太小隻

就連2號都太會掉下來...看來我需要吃胖一點

梨薑蛋糕

Pear and Ginger Cake

去年感恩節之後，迷上於薑汁和黑蜜糖 (molasses)的香味。試了幾種molasses的蛋糕，但是都過於黏膩。

我是一個做東西看家裡有什麼再去找食譜的人，沒想到有西洋梨、薑、黑蜜糖的組合，當然就高高興興的試試。

食譜中用的allspice可用cinnamon, clove, black pepper 和nutmeg取代。基本的組合是1單位allspice需要cinnamon (1/2) and clove (1/2)。但是也有人加nutmeg and pepper。我就是每樣都用1/4單位。但1/8t實在很小匙，所以就自由心證啦。

小綠眼說很好吃，叫我把食譜留下來 (真難得)。

1 1/2 cups flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/8 teaspoon ground allspice

1/4 teaspoon salt

2/3 stick unsalted butter

1/4 cup water

1/4 cup packed dark brown sugar

1/2 cup molasses

3 large eggs

1/4 cup grated peeled ginger

1 pear

350度
將烤盤上塗奶油再裹麵粉 (我是用9x13x2吋
玻璃)

1. 篩麵粉和乾料
   
2. 奶油和水一起融化
   
3. 黑蜜糖和糖打勻，加蛋(一次一個)
   
4. 加粉類攪勻 (輕、柔、勻即可)
   
5. 加入奶油水和薑
   
6. 倒入烤盤，把西洋梨隨意排一排
   
7. 烤35分鐘
   

有關molasses
http://mypaper.pchome.com.tw/vicky88/post/1313399872

不肯面對自己

People hate to change; I am no exception.

今天不知怎的想幫網誌換新造型，沒想到除舊布新(成語是動詞嗎? 應該是要用"欲"除舊布新嗎?)的下場就是只能選新範本，再也無法(這並不全然是正確的；我可以修改html) 在照片上寫的"Happiness Will Come Through"，然後下面接一串"成就快樂巴拉的"。(恩，我嘗試了一小時；青春阿~)

昨天出門洗衣服前開了實體信箱(有個郵差會把信件放入的那種)，收到一張明信片。隨便看了一眼，關鍵字: 西岸、happy birthday、merry christmas、寄件人XXX。

放回信箱。鎖上。

小綠眼問我那誰寄的。我說XXX。睡前，我對小綠眼說，我生日是三個月前的事情；聖誕節是兩個月前的事情，地址是三個禮拜前問我的，那張明信片寄的也太慢了。

這是數月來其中一件令我忿忿的事，但我怎麼這樣計較? 沒有感謝別人的祝福，卻想要在"明信片"上寫 "查無此人" (郵件若有寄件者地址，信件會被退回；但明信片沒有"from: whom and where"；想要寫"查無此人"這個衝動足以凸顯我的荒謬。)

與人的關係越來越疏離。"沒有朋友"是自己為了要繼續孤僻的藉口，不想與人相處或連絡才是真正的原因。必須區別的是自己並非懶惰(想要做而不做謂之懶惰)，而是不想要。

不肯面對自己。

因為逃避自己的情緒，因為不想要面對自己，所以沒有寫下生活的心得、煮的食物、承受的壓力、對自己的期許、對他人的生氣、對世界的不解。這是懶惰。

每天都奄奄一息但卻假裝很行。

突然覺得自己很可笑。

2010年 三月 星期五 紫色金剛車壞掉

It isn't really about "a broken car." It is the shock.

To say it was a trauma would be overrated.

I was on the bridge, in the car, and trying to speak. I tried to stay calm but my heart was racing. It isn't even rational. But I didn't know whom I could call for help. The only phone book I have is the numbers in my cell, and there aren't that many numbers.

I sat there waiting for my car to be repaired. The clock ticked and ticked. From 10 to 12 to 2 to 4. I didn't know if I should go ask them or if I should stay put. I didn't know how much they'd charge me. I didn't know how much it would cost me. I didn't know if I have enough money. I didn't know if I don't have enough money, would that person let me leave. I didn't have a credit card.

I remember vividly that I took 100 cash into my purse that morning. I usually don't bring cash with me. I almost brought a camera, just because I thought I might want to take a picture of dad and I at the airport. I didn't wear socks because I figure I would be home soon. I didn't eat breakfast because we left at 5:45. I only had two sips of coffee.

That day was colder than usually.

I watched MTV for 9 hours.

Then we were told that only three cylinders are working. We drove back on 295 and the temperature was too hot. The alert sound keep went off. We were told not to go over 50. When the speed is too low, the car starts tumbling.

Then I called the repair shop. He told me to go to a gas station and check the water. I don't know which is the water tank. We go off the highway, but we couldn't see a gas station. We had to make a decision on which way to turn. It was dark and cold.

Then the car cooled down but we can't get the engine to start and run. We tried and tried. We successfully drove 50 yards, then the engine went off. We were in the middle of a intersection. There were cars behind us. We tried and tried. Then we slide into a residential parking lot. We had to make a decision.

Then i called my auto mechanic's shop but it was answering machine. Then I called his Dad's shop. The number was redirect to his cell somewhere and he couldn't hear me at first. I was afraid that he doesn't know me. But then he probably did.

I called the tow truck. He asked me where I was. I couldn't clearly describe my location. He asked what streets am I on. I ran out the car to check. I told him I am opposite of Harley Davidson Motorcycle. I was outside the car looking at the street signs, Wei was yelling from the window: tell him we are opposite the Harley Davidson shop... He asked for my name and number, told us to wait around 45 to 60 minutes, then we hang up. I called again because I forgot to ask if he can give us a ride back. I also asked for his name. Then we waited and the tow truck came. It was cold. My feet were cold.

It was a fancy tow truck. Not the kind that leave your rear wheels rolling on the ground. The kind that your whole car is on the truck. The interior was fancy. I knew it was going to cost a lot. I didn't have a choice. I didn't ask the price. I knew I didn't have to pay him because the car will be towed to the repair shop and the Dad will bill me later.

What if I didn't bring my cellphone like I usually don't.

What if I didn't have 700 dollars in my checking account to pay for fixing the car a the garage.

What if I didn't have the 100 dollars of cash to pay for the first tow.

What if no one picked up the phone that morning.

What if Susannah hadn't help us find a tow company.

What if I didn't have the number to the Dad's shop.

What if the Dad didn't pick up the phone.

What if my cellphone battery died.

What if Wei's cellphone battery also died.

For the whole day, I ate a piece of bread, a hot dog, a can of root beer, a tiny candy, and two sips of coffee.

I came home at 9:30 and ate pizza and beer.

I am frightened. I can't tell Wei about this. We hadn't been able to get along for two days.