新角色

新角色

新角色已經扮演大約快一個月，怎麼有點快撐不住、喘不過氣的感覺？

對對，要學習放輕鬆，不要100分。其實在那個環境中要100分也還滿難的，又不是鄉下，大家都很厲害。

要讀文章、寫報告、要口頭報告、要和教授meeting. 數學真是一門天殺的學問，我最羨慕那些從數學系來的人，他們就像是躺著念也可以如魚得水，但是我每次看到模型和公式就想一頭撞牆。

不知道為什麼有個經濟學家認為經濟和醫學有一種相似。我怎麼都不這樣覺得？經濟學並無法解決人類的問題，optimal solution或是Pareto efficiency的存在是很弔詭的。在學問的追求上，有時很孤獨，就像是我無法真正的了解醫學的哲學。


今天拿Perish出來聽，發現跟James Blunt有相同的味道。讓我想到我以前住的光復路2段的神奇桃花源，我學長暈黃的房間、凌亂的書籍、散落滿地的發票，和一個沒有東西的冰箱。

下週起我就要變成國軍英雄的女朋友了。It is so obvious to support a doctor through his training; who on earth supports our soldiers? I so envy those who had already managed through the dark ages, like how when I see those suffering from Eric's lectures, I have this: Thank God It's So Over.

I feel hollow on the commodity consumptions, yet I seriously don't need anything. I just have this urge to hold too many shopping bags and be filled with more commodities than I'll ever need. I really don't need anything, but I wish I can carry Cheery-wine cigar in my bag.

My mind is losing sensible controls and wandering in wonder land.

Mine is just starting....