Sunday, December 30, 2007

論文的恐懼

我的論文,給我最大的恐懼不是沒有data,而是沒有結果。台灣有11,106筆的potential data,瑞典有1,591筆的potential data。如果Pajek跑出來沒有辦法做出合理的解釋,該怎麼辦?
我要如何分辨或知道,是因為我書讀不夠所以無法解釋;或是因為沒有東西好解釋,所以沒有解釋?但是在這研究的過程,我要用什麼當信心,告訴自己即使浪費的錢和時間,我都有收穫呢?我要這麼每天看著不出太陽的天空說出:一定會有希望的。在成為學者的道路上,怎麼知道不需要放棄?

老師上個月給我看了篇故事,發明水型吸塵器的人失敗了幾千次才成功,他都不曾放棄,八拉八拉等。老師覺得很鼓勵,也希望我多點信心。不過那時我沒有沒有信心,不過今天,我真的開始沒有信心了。

時間一分一秒的過去,我停滯不前,我走不動離不開。
如果變成小丑,那麼笑話便不會如此的令人恐慌。

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Crave & Addiction

crave: Old English crafian (in the sense [demand, claim as a right] ), of Germanic origin; related to Swedish kräva, Danish kræve ‘demand.’

Craving is dangerous. Craving for sweet food, chocolate cake, hot sex, chic clothes. Crave into addiction. Crave, Craving....

期末像是要把人壓到爆炸,寒冷的早晨根本無法從床上爬去,整個人陷在床上,一整個天花板都在轉。要寫論文的人,沒有寒假的感覺,期末只是一個從a到b的差別;只是應該休息的日子應該要趕快加緊腳步。

每當這種要讓人瘋掉的的季節,尋求一種安慰和high,像是craving for something,一個可以帶你飛起、沒有難過沒有傷心的地方。That something讓人feel so good, that even you can already see the dead end, see how you'll get hurt at the end of the road, still, it is so hard to pull away. 還沒得到之前,craving it;得到之後,addicted to it. 這條一定會死的路,要怎麼不要走下去;醒來醒來。

無法更冷的溫度,發抖的雙指,我的青春,渡過在,我的craving addiction。 一直 一直 無法呼吸,無法停止,那個慾望,想要更多的high,飛去沒有悲傷的地方。

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

[回憶]一篇在墨爾本時吃ice cream的心得

回憶]一篇在墨爾本時吃ice cream的心得

我一直都還沒有機會去體驗你說的,在街道上讀詩! 要等天氣再好一點, 雖然快春天了,但是風吹著還是會冷.今天我到河邊去走一走, 恰巧走進一個art market, 經過一個ice cream truck.他標榜是homemade.我就猶豫要不要試試看,本來覺得不該那樣寵自己,後來想想既然是homemade的就試試看吧! 挑了 honeycomb and blackberry兩種口味. 走到河邊的椅子坐下來. 一邊吃一邊有很多年前的回憶. 那種情景很像很多年前我和我爸爸一起出去, 看到art market我都會說我要看因為我很喜歡arts and crafts. 經過很特別的東西如homemade icecream我爸爸就會問我說我要不要試試看. 我就會站在那邊, 看一看有什麼口味, 猶豫跟思考一下,然後可能說好. 我爸爸就會拿錢給我, 等我買完我就會跟他說謝謝, 然後問他要不要試試看.接著他會找一個地方坐下來 等我吃完一邊看看風景休息一下. 當我今天一個人坐在河邊想起這一段時, 我開始發覺這就大概就是長大的過程. 大概就像是我今天這樣: 有一天, 到一個地方, 一個人做一件原本是和爸爸或媽媽一起做的事, 卻發現爸爸媽媽都不在身邊. 然後晚上回到住的地方,開始敘述這一段故事, 這時才覺得 歐好像不再是以前那種不用負責的小女孩. 好像這就是長大的意思,不知道我爸爸媽媽有沒有我這種心境. 不知道他們會不會很難過或是很驕傲? 我有點悵然 總覺得自己還沒準備好還沒同意要長大, 就要去學習去接受似乎不再是14歲的國中生了.小時候偶爾會想長大是什麼意思? 大人是什麼意思? 怎麼變成大人的? 是不是突然有一天有一個人說 "你從今起就要做大人?" 現在我想, 可能就是這樣一點一滴的 自己就慢慢知道了吧!

--
版主大概覺得這人最近怎麼話這麼多

Monday, December 17, 2007

[Lies and Jokes] candle cake



Look at the happy cake, it is almost hard to imagine that life can be that happy and cheerful with candle lights and whip cream. When homework piles up your desk and term paper topic is no where to be seen, it is depressing.



Craving for sweets; sweet cake, sweet days, sweet clothes, sweet smiles, sweet everything. Some wise old man will say: hey, the rainbowafter a storm. Well, allow me to say this, I don't want rainbow sweets; I just want sweets, and I don't want storm. So there you go, there's me bitching again:P.



The radio station's personal life coach is speaking: look at the positive side of life, say stop; next time you are complaining, remember that you made the shoots, it's I "choose."



Wow, since when does what i write is instantly responded by the radio station and broadcast to everyone online.



Yeah yeh yeh...say stop.

[Abstract Review] Some Economics of Global Warming

Some Economics of Global Warming
By Thomas C. Schelling
The American Economic Review, Vol. 82, No. 1 (Mar., 1992), pp. 1-14

[Abstract Review]
The author discussed the effects on global warming on people, enviornment, economy, and some tackling strategies. The paper started off by pointing out the inappropriate metophar of greenhouse and the name should be replaced by "smudgepot effect". But since it is too late to change the term, it is more practical to focus on the effects on people. People accept discontinuous climate change when they “migrate” from northeast to southest; however, continuous change of climate is unbearable. Additionaly, the media discuss “hotter summer”, but never “warmer winter.” Interestingly enough, people 100 years ago would probably have appreciated a warmer winter.

Business activities such as finance or manufacture are little affected by climate; similarly for healther care, education, or broadcasting. Climate change becomes an issue when it is about enviornment, animals, or argiculture. As some argue that comfort is worth considering, it is fortunately that the models predict a greater impact upon winter. Overall, climate migrates slowly and does not make significant impact on human life unless it is catastrophy.

Nevertheless, global warming is still an ongoing issue. The question is what are the costs of reducing carbon emission? Developed countries have no self-interest in reducing 2% of GNP perpetuity to curtailing carbon consumption. Shall developing countries scarfice their citizins’ welfare and economic development? China accounts for 25% of emissions but expect to increase to 50%. That is a nation with power to make a difference to the world by commiting to a “social contract” for global warming, but will she?

Alternative solution is genoenginnering; for example, remove mature trees and storing them anaerobically; enhancing oceanic photosynthesis by “fertailizing” the ocean with iron; reforstation, or put something in orbit to reflect incoming sunlight and reverse the imbalance caused by greenhouse gases. Schelling believed that if genoenginnering is feasible, international greenhouse diplomacy will be transformed (p. 10).

Schelling stated that the best plan is the Marshall Plan dollars. Unfortunately, there was never a formula for distributing Marshall Plan dollars. Global warming was a problem in 1992; 15 years later, there is still no real solution.


ECON 500500 Reading and Writing in Economics
December 17th, 2007

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Uniqueness

Uniqueness

We say everyone is unique. This is a simple phrase we hear and say All the time. Easier said than done.

When one of my friend's girlfriend broke off with him, she said that "you don't care for me enough" (a.k.a. you care about yourself, even your ex girlfriends). As I come to know him over the years, that statement is just politically wrong. Though that I was never his girlfriend, I know for a fact that he does indeed care about that girl; he just didn't care for her 'the way she wanted' or maybe, 'to her, that's not enough'.



In GA, Derek and Meredith broke off for similar reasons.



我漸漸了解you can't hope/request/change/ another person's perception of 'caring,' especially in relationships. 而必須了解和信任對方是用他最會/知道的方式對待這份關係。別人可以對我argue說你這樣是鴕鳥的想法,但是我會跟對方說:你又怎麼知道你對他的方法真的是他心目中所期待的呢?

到昨天我才知道經濟學中認定,我們不可以也無法去改變別人的效用函數:illegitimate. 這意思近乎imply說人無法互相溝通而只能利用市場的功能去調節人間的差異。但是無論如何,每個人的效用函數都是unique and unchangable.
--it's a rattling....

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Banana Cake

Banana Cake

1 Cup white sugar
90 grams butter
2 eggs
at least 3 small bananas
500 grams flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt (depends on the butter)
1 teaspoon dry vanilla powder

step 1. beat bananas and set aside.
step 2. soften butter and beat with sugar until very very smooth. (you'd wish you have electrical beater)
step 3. add eggs and beat until smooth (you will really wish that you own an electrical beater)
step 4. add bananas and stir until smooth
step 5. shift the rest of the ingredients and then stir lightly (don't stir too much or the cake will be as hard as stone)
Pure into buttered and floured rectangle shape baking pan.
Bake 190 C degree for 30 minutes. When you see the top gold shinning and cracked, put an alumni foil over it. (shinning side out).
Ready when a tooth pick come out clean.

Note: if use the wrong baking pan (like i used a round one, it will take too long to bake and the side will be too hard).
2nd note: I couldn't find unsalted butter so I used salted butter but don't add additional 1/2 t of salt.
3rd note: I used very very ripe banana. It was so ripe that it was all black and watery. It looked disgusting but the cake tasted great.