Saturday, September 27, 2008
Two Years Anniversary
“If you think back and replay your year, if it doesn't bring you tears either of joy or sadness, consider it wasted.” Ally McBeal
It was at a year end party and Ally was dancing with a colleague - John. Those were the profound words spoken by John.
Likewise, I believed that in the past two years, although not as smooth as everyone hoped, but we all made it. We had been misunderstood, humiliated, frustrated, hurt, or damaged. At the same time, we had been cheered and encouraged by those we love and those whom love us. I can't speak for my blog partner, but for myself, I'd like to dedicate a short memo for ACDC.
The past two years had been "unique." God had given me a very good lecture regarding life and personal growth. I don't know if I had lived up to his expectation, but I guess the fact that I am still alive means I must have made some progress. Second, my friend, AC, have been very very supportive. Not only he has been there for me emotionally, but also often geographically [i.e. visit me, in case this is confusion. I live at outer space so he always made an effort to go there by spaceship]. So I'd like to take this opportunity to thank him. Aside from those, I want to send my regards and appreciations to AC's server for us to save all our data here. It's very generous of him. Finally, I'd like to thank every readers here. Needless to say, even myself recognize that most of the posts are craps and have little use, but I yeah, I am a crank and whiner. So for this, I am grateful for no one had complained about me.
Friday, September 26, 2008
genuine, pretend or illusion
Yet, this person that Mom and Dad love, is he really the way he is? Does he fear? Does he feel pain and stress? Is he a robot? What is the deep dark secret? What is hiding in the closet?
Perhaps nothing. Perhaps he is born with all these qualities. I don't know, like I said, I don't know him at all.
We wear armors because we are vulnerable. The fear of hurting or losing hunts us everyday that to protect ourselves, we pretend to be sturdy and confident people. We accept life with equanimity.
When I was a freshman, there were two adjectives that illustrated me: fake and cynical. I am that typical kind of girl who ask a classmate to help fix the computer, reinstall the OS, and change the CPU fan. Then I contributed to my campus, which was filled with guys, a cute face, a adorable personality, and a cajole voice that by all accounts can let a guy melt right there and then. I am fake because I don't have an adorable personality. My roommates said that I am a "dark" person; that if each of us is matched to a color, mine is the darkest black that one can't even tell how dark it is. That is how cynical they thought I was. And it was probably true.
To my siblings and distant family, I am confident, determine, diligent, and strong. But everyone here probably knows the truth - I am so far away from those qualities that if you draw a line scaling least confident to most confident, I am probably an outlier that is not found anywhere.
The promising NY Columbia young lad is perhaps genuine because I have no way of proving he is not. I am a pretend to the University because I pretend to be sweet, charming, and adorable. As for my family, what they perceive, it's just an illusion.
Some truths are not to be said aloud even to oneself. Not saying is not admitting. I am not going to say them, or admit them. As ironic as it can be, I am just going to let it be.
Armors can leave us in solitude, but that's okay because we choose it.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
相信能成就大事的人 可以經過大風大浪
I took my AWA on Monday and I hoped that life will be easier on me. That the days will be in peace and there will be no troubles or worries. But the reality proved me wrong. The feeling sucks because just as I am trying to cram all the materials before 10/25, my mind is also occupied by other event that are not necessary directed related to me, yet is related to me.
The good thing is my sister and I fixed the couch. It is so 窮學生在美國生活的感覺。I must admit that feeling is very familiar and also hilarious.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Summer of 2008
The past few days had been a blast. I was at war with the aged apartment - faucet with dripping water, water heater that does not provide hot water, bathroom fan that does not turn, straw mattress with inelastic spring and tilted surface, and non-woven closet that had shrink after washed. Funnily, everyone concluded the landlord's personality fitted perfectly with his previous profession.
---one week laterAfter a week of struggle, things are finally on track. The apartment looks more like a home now. The living room is decorated with my style; there are always food in the house, and I try hard to make sure there are always dessert in the refrigerator.
Yesterday, the couch broke while my sister sat on it (well, another guy and I were on it too. So really can't blame her for the broken sofa). All in all, after a day of sitting on the floor and a trip for "concrete block/ tire/ tree trunk" shopping in the street, I decided to use a stack of my sister's books (I did contributed Calculus) to solve the problem. The couch is really a crap now and I can't imagine it getting any crappier, but if it really get any worse, I have decided to let it be.
Tomorrow is Labor Day and the summer is official over. The feeling is wonderful, I have made it to the finish line; every day is a new war, the struggling continues, and the summer is over!
Oh, and did I mention that I love the place!
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Chocolate Cake & Banana Cake
Chocolate Cake A
1 1/2 C flour
1 C sugar (cut down for less sweet taste)
1/2 tsp salt
3 tbs cocoa powder
6 tsb oil
1 tsp vanilla powder (add more or less for desire taste)
1 C milk (or use milk and
1 egg
1 tsp baking soda
Bake 175 C for 30 minutes
Chocolate Cake B
2 C flour
1/2 C sugar
1 tsp salt
2 tsp baking soda
3/4 cocoa
1 C oil
1 C hot coffee
1 C milk
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
375 F for 30 minutes
Banana Cake
1 C white sugar
1/2 C butter
4 bananas
2 C flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp Vanilla
2 eggs
* Banana continues to ripe even if they are in refrigerator. My experience is when the banana is too ripen to put outside, peal the skin and put it in airtight container and store in the refrigerator. The best banana cake is made with ripen banana with its brown juice. (Although it looks terribly gross, it is really worth it).
1) beat butter and sugar until white and fluffy.
2) add egg and vanilla
3) add mesh banana
4) add rest
190 C for 30 minutes
Chocolate Frosting cream - best with banana1 1/3 C sugar powder 3 T cocoa powder3 T butter2 T and 1/2 tsp milk powder1/2 tsp vanillasome liquor
I tried with various proportion of the ingredients. Because it is really easy to make, it is hard to go wrong. I replaced milk powder with fresh milk and it taste fine.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Self-sufficient
Be extraordinary; be stronger.
Last night when I said "some things cannot be obtained from no one else," you asked me whether I had much experience to say such a thoughtful thing.
My classmate at John Hopkins is having some complaints about her boyfriend in Taiwan. She whines that he's not supportive, did not keep his promise of writing a letter every week, and do not know she studies finance instead of accounting. Overall, she is just complaining that her boyfriend is not there and she is lonely. The life in the States is hard and he is not around. She'd like to keep the commitments between them but he is not making an effort.
(I wonder if he has another new girlfriend in Taiwan now)
The thing is those emotional supports are not something others can give you. Emotional independence is difficult. My single friends don't have these emotional independence problem but that doesn't mean they are not lonely. They may spend time and money on themselves to compensate their loneliness. However, the truth is what others can give you is limited.
Her boyfriend can not imagine the hard time she is going through. He did not have the experience of studying abroad, therefore, he won't understand and he could not care more. When one leaves the homeland to seek for a better future, even for two years, the person ought to know that she is leaving her past life behind and that nothing will be the same.
Self-sufficient is a protection against all emergencies - financial, emotional, physically. Frankly, I don't know how to deal with Microsoft problems because I use an Apple. However, I have good friend who can help me and if time go real bad, I can send it to fix because I can afford it. Of course this is not the best scenario, but then again, I know how to do other things: I know how to turn a 'raw and live' fish into a 'dead and eatable' dish, I know how to 'chop chicken into pieces', I know how to 'paint a house and walk on the ladder', and I know how to dress myself, seduce guys, and coax them.
But I want to be stronger and be emotional independent because it is better for me. The sense of security is not something that one can get from other people; it is something that one has to practice to have in order to protect against all odds.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Drag
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
milestone
Monday, March 03, 2008
美國夢
我不知道別人如何度過一天
我倒是知道我像是在追趕
choking像是很適當的形容詞
suffocating
隨著年紀越大 週遭的事情就越多
有時解決別人的問題反而比較容易
自己的問題一直逃避
直到別人的問題變得困難 直到下定決心面對自己 直到覺得別人的問題已經快變成自己的問題
然後
為什麼美國夢沒有那個excite
就像大公司小老闆裡面的小夥子說的: are you excite!
Friday, January 04, 2008
Whisky Cream Cake
2 c sugar
6 eggs
3 c cake flour, sifted
1 c heavy whipping cream
1/2 tsp. vanilla (optional)
3 Tbs. whisky
Instructions
Cream butter and sugar and beat until light and fluffy. Add egg one at a time and beat well. Then add cream, beat until really really smooth and liquid; add the whisky, more beating. Finally add the flour but stir gentle and don't stir too much. Baked at 165C for 40 minutes. Use a bundt pan.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
[Abstract Review] On the Origin of Money
by Carl Menger
Economic Journal, vol. 2, (1892) p.239-55. Translated by C.A. Foley
[Abstract Review]
Menger talked about the development of money through the social/institutional structural. The article covered the genesis of media of exchange, the saleableness of different “commodity money”, and how metal became money. Most importantly, Menger stated the money is not generated by law but a product of social consensus. To understand the origin of money, it is worthy to find out why we need money?
Money has three functions in any economy: as a medium of exchange, as a unit of account, and as a store of value. The most original form of money is commodity goods: crops, live stocks, house, women, land, etc. At the time when people barter, people simply trade what they want with what they have. The system works fine except that the cost of transaction is high and trade faces its limitations. The saleableness of commodity is contingent to time and space; for example, the preservation of commodity increases the costs of transaction. If the commodity is a bunch of bananas, you’ll have to settle a deal before the fruit rotten. The price variations may also cause confusion in the market; for example, more bananas supply today and therefore purchasing power of bananas go down. The cost of carrying out transaction may exceed the benefits of exchange. The second challenge of using commodity goods as medium of exchange is how to store value. By this definition, banana is not a good candidate for money.
Recall that one of the primary functions of money is to store value; to ensure that the purchasing power don’t go down. Therefore, the best type of money is the kind that can reflect its true value during any circumstances. This corresponds to the “saleableness” of money, and the “market” condition.
From money’s three functions, it is easy to infer that money is not an institutional law but to a certain degree, a social consensus – the market. The value of money is free of government intervention. The logic is that government can impose a value, but it is left to the market to decide whether the law is reasonable. If the people do not accept such rule, they will trade using the way in which they believe is the most beneficial for themselves. This is most obvious in a time of hyperinflation when government issued currency loss value and the society exchanges using food, gold, or barter. The same case goes when the society loss faith in the government issued currency and decides to hold on to other medium of exchange that is better at storing value.
Money is mostly market-dependent and government-independent. Government can issue money in aiding the cost of transaction or provide a commonly accepted medium of exchange, but cannot prohibit other forms of mediums. It is the society to decide which type of exchange that is most efficient and the market decides the value or price of each medium of exchange.
ECON 500500 Reading and Writing in Economics
January 2nd, 2008
Sunday, December 30, 2007
論文的恐懼
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Crave & Addiction
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
[回憶]一篇在墨爾本時吃ice cream的心得
回憶]一篇在墨爾本時吃ice cream的心得
我一直都還沒有機會去體驗你說的,在街道上讀詩! 要等天氣再好一點, 雖然快春天了,但是風吹著還是會冷.今天我到河邊去走一走, 恰巧走進一個art market, 經過一個ice cream truck.他標榜是homemade.我就猶豫要不要試試看,本來覺得不該那樣寵自己,後來想想既然是homemade的就試試看吧! 挑了 honeycomb and blackberry兩種口味. 走到河邊的椅子坐下來. 一邊吃一邊有很多年前的回憶. 那種情景很像很多年前我和我爸爸一起出去, 看到art market我都會說我要看因為我很喜歡arts and crafts. 經過很特別的東西如homemade icecream我爸爸就會問我說我要不要試試看. 我就會站在那邊, 看一看有什麼口味, 猶豫跟思考一下,然後可能說好. 我爸爸就會拿錢給我, 等我買完我就會跟他說謝謝, 然後問他要不要試試看.接著他會找一個地方坐下來 等我吃完一邊看看風景休息一下. 當我今天一個人坐在河邊想起這一段時, 我開始發覺這就大概就是長大的過程. 大概就像是我今天這樣: 有一天, 到一個地方, 一個人做一件原本是和爸爸或媽媽一起做的事, 卻發現爸爸媽媽都不在身邊. 然後晚上回到住的地方,開始敘述這一段故事, 這時才覺得 歐好像不再是以前那種不用負責的小女孩. 好像這就是長大的意思,不知道我爸爸媽媽有沒有我這種心境. 不知道他們會不會很難過或是很驕傲? 我有點悵然 總覺得自己還沒準備好還沒同意要長大, 就要去學習去接受似乎不再是14歲的國中生了.小時候偶爾會想長大是什麼意思? 大人是什麼意思? 怎麼變成大人的? 是不是突然有一天有一個人說 "你從今起就要做大人?" 現在我想, 可能就是這樣一點一滴的 自己就慢慢知道了吧!
版主大概覺得這人最近怎麼話這麼多
Monday, December 17, 2007
[Lies and Jokes] candle cake

Craving for sweets; sweet cake, sweet days, sweet clothes, sweet smiles, sweet everything. Some wise old man will say: hey, the rainbowafter a storm. Well, allow me to say this, I don't want rainbow sweets; I just want sweets, and I don't want storm. So there you go, there's me bitching again:P.
The radio station's personal life coach is speaking: look at the positive side of life, say stop; next time you are complaining, remember that you made the shoots, it's I "choose."
Wow, since when does what i write is instantly responded by the radio station and broadcast to everyone online.
Yeah yeh yeh...say stop.
[Abstract Review] Some Economics of Global Warming
By Thomas C. Schelling
The American Economic Review, Vol. 82, No. 1 (Mar., 1992), pp. 1-14
[Abstract Review]
The author discussed the effects on global warming on people, enviornment, economy, and some tackling strategies. The paper started off by pointing out the inappropriate metophar of greenhouse and the name should be replaced by "smudgepot effect". But since it is too late to change the term, it is more practical to focus on the effects on people. People accept discontinuous climate change when they “migrate” from northeast to southest; however, continuous change of climate is unbearable. Additionaly, the media discuss “hotter summer”, but never “warmer winter.” Interestingly enough, people 100 years ago would probably have appreciated a warmer winter.
Business activities such as finance or manufacture are little affected by climate; similarly for healther care, education, or broadcasting. Climate change becomes an issue when it is about enviornment, animals, or argiculture. As some argue that comfort is worth considering, it is fortunately that the models predict a greater impact upon winter. Overall, climate migrates slowly and does not make significant impact on human life unless it is catastrophy.
Nevertheless, global warming is still an ongoing issue. The question is what are the costs of reducing carbon emission? Developed countries have no self-interest in reducing 2% of GNP perpetuity to curtailing carbon consumption. Shall developing countries scarfice their citizins’ welfare and economic development? China accounts for 25% of emissions but expect to increase to 50%. That is a nation with power to make a difference to the world by commiting to a “social contract” for global warming, but will she?
Alternative solution is genoenginnering; for example, remove mature trees and storing them anaerobically; enhancing oceanic photosynthesis by “fertailizing” the ocean with iron; reforstation, or put something in orbit to reflect incoming sunlight and reverse the imbalance caused by greenhouse gases. Schelling believed that if genoenginnering is feasible, international greenhouse diplomacy will be transformed (p. 10).
Schelling stated that the best plan is the Marshall Plan dollars. Unfortunately, there was never a formula for distributing Marshall Plan dollars. Global warming was a problem in 1992; 15 years later, there is still no real solution.
ECON 500500 Reading and Writing in Economics
December 17th, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Uniqueness
We say everyone is unique. This is a simple phrase we hear and say All the time. Easier said than done.
When one of my friend's girlfriend broke off with him, she said that "you don't care for me enough" (a.k.a. you care about yourself, even your ex girlfriends). As I come to know him over the years, that statement is just politically wrong. Though that I was never his girlfriend, I know for a fact that he does indeed care about that girl; he just didn't care for her 'the way she wanted' or maybe, 'to her, that's not enough'.
In GA, Derek and Meredith broke off for similar reasons.
我漸漸了解you can't hope/request/change/ another person's perception of 'caring,' especially in relationships. 而必須了解和信任對方是用他最會/知道的方式對待這份關係。別人可以對我argue說你這樣是鴕鳥的想法,但是我會跟對方說:你又怎麼知道你對他的方法真的是他心目中所期待的呢?
到昨天我才知道經濟學中認定,我們不可以也無法去改變別人的效用函數:illegitimate. 這意思近乎imply說人無法互相溝通而只能利用市場的功能去調節人間的差異。但是無論如何,每個人的效用函數都是unique and unchangable.
--it's a rattling....
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Banana Cake
1 Cup white sugar
90 grams butter
2 eggs
at least 3 small bananas
500 grams flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt (depends on the butter)
1 teaspoon dry vanilla powder
step 1. beat bananas and set aside.
step 2. soften butter and beat with sugar until very very smooth. (you'd wish you have electrical beater)
step 3. add eggs and beat until smooth (you will really wish that you own an electrical beater)
step 4. add bananas and stir until smooth
step 5. shift the rest of the ingredients and then stir lightly (don't stir too much or the cake will be as hard as stone)
Pure into buttered and floured rectangle shape baking pan.
Bake 190 C degree for 30 minutes. When you see the top gold shinning and cracked, put an alumni foil over it. (shinning side out).
Ready when a tooth pick come out clean.
Note: if use the wrong baking pan (like i used a round one, it will take too long to bake and the side will be too hard).
2nd note: I couldn't find unsalted butter so I used salted butter but don't add additional 1/2 t of salt.
3rd note: I used very very ripe banana. It was so ripe that it was all black and watery. It looked disgusting but the cake tasted great.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
[Abstract Review] The Mathematization of Economic Theory
By. Gerard Debreu.
The American Economic Review, 81(1), May 1991, pp. 1-7.
The introduction of Mathematics into Economics in the early 20th century radically changed the analytical methodology and tools in solving economics problem. It profoundly changed the natural of our profession. In the five short decades, mathematics - formulas and derivations, solved economic models with more clarity, generality, rigor, and simplicity. It becomes a “common language” for economic theory. Mathematics opens an efficient scrutiny for logical errors. The great logic solidity contributes to a fast construction of economic theories. Some of which take a comprehensive view of the economic system.
The raising importance of mathematics can be observed from the increasing pages of periodicals, the size of ES, and the graduate admissions. From 1935 to 1977, the pages increased 12 times, from 400 to 5000 pages. 1944 was the milestone for such growth and it was also the year John von Neumann and Oskar Morgenstern published the Theory of Games and Economic Behavior. The Fellows of Econometrics Society (ES) also contributes to the vast growth. In the 13 research-doctorate programs in US, over 50% of the faculty are ES member. Graduate school also requires proficiency in calculus and linear algebra upon admission. The trend is inevitable.
Physics and economics served some similarity as the application of mathematics benefited the development of both discipline. Abstract concepts were captured through axioms, equations, and calculations. But the experimental feature of physics allowed it to violate the canons of mathematical deduction. Economic theory adhere to the rules of logical discourse, but must renounce the facility of internal inconsistency because its’ lack of experiment base.
The advantages that Mathematics brought are overwhelming. Mathematical analysis in economics is no longer an option, but more or less something that judge your work and career. “The very choice of the questions to which he tries to find answers is influenced by his mathematical background” (Debreu, pg. 5). The danger is whether economics has become secondary, that the strong and solid foundation of economic theory is dominated by the fancy equations and proofs?
The over rely on mathematics is risky if economics theory weakens. It opens a gate for irresponsible models where the equations are fancy but the logics are controversy. For example the causal relationship that is observed in equation: does it really inference a causal relationship or there might be a third cause? This requires careful examinations of economics logics to avoid fallacy.
The allowance for experiment should be developed in economics. Experiment economics is already conducted on micro-level behaviors; it is an alternative tool to examine models or theories. Experiment in macro-level – national economy – is at the moment improbable because the volume is large and cost may be high.
Mathematization in economics is not perfect. It does not capture all of the factors, for example - kindness. But it did have its contribution – a common language for scholars to communicate without misunderstanding.
ECON500500 Reading and Writing in Economics
Abstract review
[Abstract Review] Economics in Action: Ideas, Institutions, Policies
The American Economic Review, Vol. 85, No. 2, Papers and Proceedings of the Hundredth and Seventh Annual Meeting of the American Economic Association Washington, DC, January 6-8, 1995. (May, 1995), pp. 1-8.
George P. Shultz
Shultz suggested that market mechanism and minimum government intervention will lead to economic golden age. He supported the ending of the Bretton Woods system in the Nixon administration and several tax reform acts in his cabinet jobs.
A economy that emphasis on resource allocation, market- and enterprise-base policu, and education create the private incentives necessary for economic growth. Quality education produces skilled and productive labor that is important for political change and open society. A society open to change is an innovative one.
Shultz’s backgrounds lead him to believe that a change in the exchange rate is crucial. Government intervention will do more harm than good because the global economy and the volume of exchange market is too big to manipulate. Moreover, asynchrony can lessen extremes and maintain the equilibrium as a whole. Besides, there is always new entrant and it is unlikely for any businessman to ignore a market that is full of opportunities. In short, Shultz concluded that “the market will win in the end anyway, and the cost of intervention can be high” (pg. 4).
In addition, he observed the inefficiency in BWI and suggested the two institutions to merge and set out missions to emphasize on encouraging private investment and open trade. Moreover, IMF no longer has a par-value exchange system to monitor, and ideas on development also shifted from public sector dominance towards private enterprise and free markets.
Finally, future investment depends on capital saving. To do so, government should reduce deficit, stabilize political condition, ban corruption, and allow privatization. Privatization is most important because it turns “nobody’s money” into “somebody’s money”.
In short, Shultz suggested that open market and freer trade is the key to society’s prosperity. But I argue that such system of openness and international trade may not be as beneficial or else the world is already in harmony. First, the transformation of society is costly if supporting policies are not well planned. International trade is also costly for the environment. Producing at a lower cost did not take account of the carbon dioxide emissions and global warming effects generated through transporting goods. It also forgoes the idea of energy waste and competition for resources. Although resources, in economics sense, cannot be scarce, but environmental damages is inevitable. Second, private incentives do not always coherent between parties. Government should intervene moderately providing the necessary environment, specifically law and orders. Finally, reviewing the past 5 years, the world economy is in chaos. The code of ethics in business world had vanished into the air. Corruption did not cease. I would think the problem is not in open trade and free market, the key is the ethics issue in capitalism that Marx had predicted. The economy is not at golden age, yet.
ECON 500500 Reading and Writing in Economics
Abstract review