Self-sufficient

Be extraordinary; be stronger.


Last night when I said "some things cannot be obtained from no one else," you asked me whether I had much experience to say such a thoughtful thing.

My classmate at John Hopkins is having some complaints about her boyfriend in Taiwan. She whines that he's not supportive, did not keep his promise of writing a letter every week, and do not know she studies finance instead of accounting. Overall, she is just complaining that her boyfriend is not there and she is lonely. The life in the States is hard and he is not around. She'd like to keep the commitments between them but he is not making an effort.

(I wonder if he has another new girlfriend in Taiwan now)

The thing is those emotional supports are not something others can give you. Emotional independence is difficult. My single friends don't have these emotional independence problem but that doesn't mean they are not lonely. They may spend time and money on themselves to compensate their loneliness. However, the truth is what others can give you is limited.

Her boyfriend can not imagine the hard time she is going through. He did not have the experience of studying abroad, therefore, he won't understand and he could not care more. When one leaves the homeland to seek for a better future, even for two years, the person ought to know that she is leaving her past life behind and that nothing will be the same.

Self-sufficient is a protection against all emergencies - financial, emotional, physically. Frankly, I don't know how to deal with Microsoft problems because I use an Apple. However, I have good friend who can help me and if time go real bad, I can send it to fix because I can afford it. Of course this is not the best scenario, but then again, I know how to do other things: I know how to turn a 'raw and live' fish into a 'dead and eatable' dish, I know how to 'chop chicken into pieces', I know how to 'paint a house and walk on the ladder', and I know how to dress myself, seduce guys, and coax them.

But I want to be stronger and be emotional independent because it is better for me. The sense of security is not something that one can get from other people; it is something that one has to practice to have in order to protect against all odds.

I want to be stronger; before, I'd want to be stronger for the ones I love, but now, I'd just want to be stronger for myself. To protect myself, to be self-sufficient.