The answer

This dream or goal that I am approaching, it seems so fascinating and exciting. Some think it is brave, some envy, and some encourage. It is actually a lonely road. It is less lonely when you think there are teammates. Teammates of different kinds, but still teammates. That doesn't empty the loneliness. I can't even give a description; I can't say it.

We say it is a gift. Can we return it, willingly, without degrade and cause pain?
No, don't answer me. I know the answer.

The older you get, the more responsibilities you have, the more you know, the more fragile everything becomes.

I want to cross the line. I want to see the view from other side of the wall but I can't.

"It is inappropriate," that's the answer.