Happy Hour with coworkers

Last night I went to a happy hour with some co-workers. It was a department sponsored event and managers expected attendance. I was tired and didn't want to go, but I went. I went because I know networking is part of the job. I know that if nothing else, I get a free drink or two. But really, I went because I don't want to be the team player when co-workers refer as: she comes in, does her job, and get paid.

I went, and I talked to one co-worker who is leaving the company for a consulting firm in NY. He shared his observations on the lack of support in this department; leadership style, and his manager; that he likes to build things, make changes. And finally he asked me - what's your ideal job, what do you want to do if? And said to work towards that goal.

Then I talked to Kevin and told him how I was upset over a recent promotion of another co-worker. That the rumor (and I believed, too) that a recent job posting that senior management shared with the department was earmarked for a specific person. I personally thought the fact that management shared the posting (due to annual feedback) to show that she is responsive to feedback, but the position was intended for a specific person was stabbing her team members in the back. But Kevin said to me - I didn't apply for the job. So what do I care.

In all fairness, he is right. I didn't apply for the job, why do i care?

Then I hanged out with four guys - Kevin, Mike, Marc, and Greg. Greg said he has been here for a while and heard people's complaints. He said people think the world or workplace is fair, but it isn't. I said - if they want fairness, they should stay in school, and "maybe" it'll be fair. Then the conversation randomly went to education reform and how schools do not teach about the real world.

Mike asked if everyone wants another round and I originally said yes but later changed my mind. Mike came back with the beers, and saw my new Sperry Top Sider. He asked me where I got it and we had a small conversation on where I bought the shoes in Westport. He said his wife will love it. As I was about to leave, Mike said he'll buy me a drink.

I was like - okay...if a co-worker is willing to buy you a drink for you to stay and chat, I better say yes.

So I stayed. By then, most people had left and it was only me and the four guys.

Then Marc and Greg left.

And Mike asked me how long I have been in the U.S., and we talked about cultural difference. When I told him how a Caucasian man gets "adore" (or to an extreme, worship) in some Asian space, he was bummed, and kept saying he wants to move to China.

The guys also talked about the "80s" and I asked them - how old they were. Turned out they were all before the 80s. They must have thought that since I brought it up, they can ask what year I was born. So I told them, and they were all like - Whoa!

I told them how everything in the U.S. is a learning process. From how to file taxes to understand the English language (ham vs a ham vs the ham vs hams).

In very recent interaction with Kevin and Debbie, who lived in CT all their lives, I have learned that this is the "real America." That many of the things I go through and experienced are foreign. The truth is, I no longer feel like I can't be honest about how challenging it is for a foreign to compete and make a living here. I started to feel like, I'm part of this community and this is my experience. And because it is my experience, it has of equal value and importance to their American experience.

In all fairness, I was glad that I went. Because once and twice and third time of these gathering, and you gradually meet and know people. You build relationship and network. When I came here last year, I knew one people in CT. I started the life from scratch, but looking at what I have accomplished - to joke and drink beers with guys, have conversations, I moved along the path. It isn't as bad as I thought.